Dumb and Happy

I've been a little uninspired. This quest for a job is drainning my energy and my brain. To be interviewed by a girl younger and less wise (I'll leave it at that for now) than me is weird. How can anyone find a job like this? Let me tell you about my experience..

So I had an interview in this firm that work for call centers. I applied for a managing position 'cause I belive I'm old enough and wise in the ways of the world, at least enough to manage a bunch of kids taking phone calls.

I got to the interview bright and early and it turned out I had to wait half an hour. After the wait, I was taken with several other applicants to a room where we were to take a computer test to measure intelligence and personality. I guess if my family had seen me out there they would've died, but seriously, what was I to do? It all went down like this:

First of all computers hate me, so mine, at the first chance it got kicked me out of the system. And when I got back in the damn thing had erased two of the tests I was supposed to take. I looked around, and nobody was there so I went on with the remaining two. Suddenly the lady next to me gaspped and told me the same thing had happened to her, but obviously she's not people-phobic because she immediately went to find help. Turned out the womand who "helped" her just said, "Oh don't worry, skip that test and just go on to the others".

Myself, I was thinking why on earth they would tell us to do a test if it was not important sooo, I just had to fin a way to get my lost tests back. But first on with the one I was answering. I never get nervous answering those kind of tests because nobody is going to read every single answer on it. The computer will only tell you if you have a personality fit for the job or not. So I went on. I'm not going to bore the reader with al the stupid questions they put on those things, but they tell you to answer truthfully and since I didn't even care that much about that job I told the whole truth. Chances are somebody up in middle management checking the tests will think "how did we let this psycho into the building". And the live interview was no better. I was prepared and ready and answer all the questions without hesitation and the girl goes "Well... most people have trouble answering questions that fast" I just smiled and thought "weeell.. most people don't have to prepare one week in advance to face the horde of dumbasses asking them questions". I wonder what they'll think when they find out that I bypassed the system to get my two lost tests back.

Anyway, I am totally frustrated. I'm never going to find a job the way thingsDumb and happy are going. I'm not a college graduate. I'm overqualified for entry levels and not qualified enough for management. Besides, who am I kidding? I still hate people, or at least most people. I'm too smart for regular small talk with superficial people. I just can't suffer it. And yes, I know that I sound obnoxious, but it is the truth. Sometimes I seriously think that I would rather be a happy dumbass like everybody around me instead of a depressed smarty with a slightly higher that average IQ.

Ah.. the bliss of ignorance..

Damn you cheaters!! There is just no way to deal with you.

So, I was watching a movie about.. whatever, the thing is the girl suspects her husband is cheating so of course she asks him. "Look into my eyes and tell me if you cheated!!", she says despperately.

If you think about it really well, what is the point of asking that. First, if you suspect your husband or boyfriend is cheating, what do you gain by asking him? "So i'd know for sure", a friend of mine told me. Really, do you want to know? If you're sure, will you dump him? Right there on the spot? If so then fine, go ahead and ask. If not...

Another friend said "So we can work things out". If he wanted to "work things out" he would tell you himself. He would come out and confess his little game and either beg forgivness and promise he'll never do it again (fat chance), or he will dump you.

Be really objective. You have seriously strong suspicions of his cheating so, after tears and a long confrontation in which he denies everything, you tell him "Look me in the eye and swear you didn't cheat", two things will possibly happen: One, he will look you in the eye and say he didn't do it. Maybe it's true, but if you are a normal person with a normal degree of paranoia, you know, not a total jealous freak, you had reasons to confont him. Chances are if he's really being true to you, he'd already explained the late nights and the lost look in his eyes. Or maybe he's just a liar. Maybe he just stared into your eyes and lied to your face, even managing a glint of a tear.

Then again he can look down and blush and avoid your eyes, and then you have confirmation. He's a cheat. And then you're back to square 1, now you know. What to do with that knowledge? Problem with this scenario is that he can use confessing as leverage to get you to forgive him, "I could've lied you know." Yeah, he also could've, I don't know, NOT cheated?

So you see? The way I look at it there is just no winning side on asking if he cheats. If you suspect cheating you have two more healthy options. The obvious is to send his cheating ass packing. Or you can just ignore it and milk the situation for as long as you can. Stop cooking and tending to him. Take a sabbatical and live off him. Treat yourself to luxuries on his credit card, even a trip with your girl friends, or better yet, get a special friend of your own, just read your prenup carefully before you do it. And when you're done riding the guilt train, dump him!

Math never lies, numbers are completely objective with no regard to anybody's feelings. And math tells us that ones a guy cheats, chances are he'll do it again, and again. So dump his ass and move on. It'll probably hurt at first, but like good cosmetic surgery, you'll end up looking like a million bucks!

I should know, having recentlly been cheated on and lived through the "I'm looking into your eyes and lying through my teeth" routine. But I'm a survivior and I'm out..

Cynic yet dumb, get the irony?

So get this: I am a published author! Even if it's just a blog on the web, anybody in the world can read my thoughts. From here, it's all the way up to a book or 2 or several. But.. hopefully publishing a book does not depend on me knowing how to fully run a computer.

Turns out yesterday I finished proofreading my first post (yeah I proofread, never know when an editor can be reading), I clicked Preview and then; BACK! And the screen went all the way back to Welcome new user of blogger dot WHAT?! My witty, interesting (well it's mine, you don't expect me to say it sucks, right?) post on my beautiful new car...

Thank god for smart computers, I logged on today and turns out the post was saved, just not published, ha ha. I wanted to crawl under the chair with shame hahahaha. See, the thing is I don't only dislike the mayority of people, one thing I say over and over is that I hate dumb, ignorant people. Whatever, I'm not dumb, my computer just doesn't like me.

Anyway, dumb or not my quest for a pijamas job continued today. Sadly I found out that I'm too much of a cynic to be a health products internet seller. Or maybe I'm just lazy and unwilling to give them more of my money. Of course I will not name company names but, they have large entry fees, use of e-mail fees, use of server and virtual office fees, package delivery fees. If I had all the money they are asking in fees I would make car paymentes for 3 months and could survive on my measly night job for 3 months.

And besides, I do not know people!! How can I bring costumers to my virtual store if I do not know and talk and interact with more than 10 people a week? I thought the point of managing an already established virtual store was that they already have clients.

My introduction to the world of sales went something like this:

I got a manual, and in that manual came a list of people whom I'm supposed to know and corner them into giving me their e-mail to harras them into buying my crap. For starters, why would I bother the few people I know, even if I do hate half of them?

No problem whatsoever, the 50 person long manual list was reduced as follows: Family, only my mom brother and sister, no sale. Friends, hahahha right, do imaginary friend count? No sale. Neighbors, personal rule, always go out of house avoiding eye contact with neighors lest they think of engaging in conversation, no sale. Doctors or dentist, I appear mostly healthy except maybe for my needle and people phobia, so unless I start roting from the inside I do not plan on going to a doctor any time soon, so again, no sale. People I work with, almost same rule as with neighbors. People on the store, please, I don't go to the friendly neighborhood market so I don't have to make small talk to the clerk. And I buy everything without any question on big stores to avoid having to say anything except "here's the money, thanks, bye".

I don't take any weird classes, no gym, no dog park. My dogs like walking in the street and avoid other dogs, wonder where they get it from. No beauty waste of money and smiles for me either. I cut, color and style my own hair; hardly wear any makeup and that means no stylist or make up artist or nail artist. I live with my mom just so she can deal with the plumber, electrician, car insurance guy, gardener, and on and on.

Good lord, I'm beginning to think I have a problem here. Mmmmmm... (Thinking pause)...

No way, I'm not the problem, it's everybody else around me. I can't help it if people are annoying. What is really crazy is the fact that I'm trying for a career in sales when it's all about interacting with people. I guess I'm gonna have to work on it, at least until I get back my "everything" fees.

Meanwhile, I'll keep looking for another dream job.

I'm hungry, and I'm out.

The beginning..

For years now, I have felt the need to say lots of things. The problem is I don't like most people so I have very few friends. And here I'd like to stress very few. It's not that I'm an unlikeable person. If I were someone else, I probably wouldn't like me, but most people seem to differ. It makes it even worse, because people call me and try to invite me out, or to parties or talk on the phone, and I generally rather stick something in my eye than see them.. Awful isn't it?

Anyway, call it schizoid personallity (I personally love that one), antisocial behavior, geeky or just plain obnoxious, I prefer to share my view in the semi-anonymous realm of the world wide web. Comments are welcomed (mmmm.. yeah right.. yes, seriously, welcomed), and more welcomed are job offers as a writer, haha.

It's not that I'm currentlly unemployed. I have a job which I happen to love. I just think it is really time for me to persue my dreams and find a job I can do in my pijamas, without leaving the house and especially without interacting with annoying people. That's almost everybody I know and don't know.

Seriously.. Like, I just bought a new car. I had to wait for 4 months because I ordered it in blue, which of course is a color they have to bring from another planet where people living in really hot cities don't believe white is a better color for the heat (it's a car people, turn on the AC). The sales guy called me several times trying to convince me to take one of the 1352 white little toyota hatchbacks in storage. Really, if I wanted to drive a tiny veterinarian ambulance, I'd go work for the zoo.

So I watied...

Finally the car was here, blue with only a tiny inconvinience. I ordered an automatic transmision, not a stick shift. Most car savy men told me it was better. But I'm lazy, what can I say? Anyway, car came with a stick..So it's been like 15 years since I drove a stick, how hard can it be? Just like riding a bike, right?

Turned out it almost was like riding a bike. After a practice session, solo 'cause everybody in my family was too afraid to join me, I got the hang of it. Almost...

Six pm., everybody geting out of work, red light in a busy crossing.. everything's fine. Light turns green, and I try to go all Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder. Dream on, of course the damn car shuts down, and everybody starts honking.

Why?? I mean really, why do that? Do people actually think that I like sitting in my car, in 100ºF heat, in the middle of the street, listening to them honk their bloody horns? Who in their right mind would like that? I had dreams of getting of the car, walking over to the guy behind me and saying,

"Quit your honking, you're just making me nervous and we're all going to end up losing here.. let me deal with my stick shift in peace!! And yes! I'm a woman and you are a dumbass!"

Of course I would never do such a thing 'cause it would imply actually talking to some random stranger whom I'd probably hate.. Anyway, my butt hurts and I'm hungry, so I'm out